i am warm through my center
tired and about to dream
an ordinary life

blood
an unfinished fragment
as faint as the smell of lingnin
i lift the waters to find you
fold back the curling waves
words are what breaks and binds us
come blood
in the latter days

contorting dreams bring
solace and peace
we’ve a stray staying
applied for a rescue
to foster
hope all goes…
well
she’s but hips and spine
strung together with fur
and a giant skull with sunk in
eyes round as an eclipsed moon
she is small for a cat
we call her
Tiny Tina

dentist
day before
crickets
drive by honking
burger
it’s been a bland couple
but filling between the busyness.

well you’ve survived the first shot
and the years of after pain
pt
medications
patience
now it’s time to try your legs
and see if you can stand

there’s a great ball in my head
pushing every thought and emotion
to the edges
so i must travel these edges to get to those
microfiche memories

what makes it worse
the problem or solution
i forget which isn’t special

but what i remember of what I’ve forgot makes me panic
doctor’s appointments squeezed flat in this great wishing wheat field
like ants i crawl through the cracks in search of a jellybean memory turning slightly to find another distortion of thought.
fear pulls my neck taut
i strain at the bit in my mouth
unfocusing and turning
turn
scraping the bowl clean
til more cracks appear
more pictures flicker
more little birds sing
and the mowers come

rewound myself into time
i have no purpose
down to the extras in the pantry
soaked in expensive bath water
realigned all the bits on the counter
made lemon pepper chicken for dinner
soaked my foot in miracles cute
have no purpose
but to be
it is both exhilarating and frightening

the static of day
gives way to the high whirr
of night
insomnia drifts several lines
of incomprehensible flies
to smack and get stuck on
here we go round the–
silence
of the children
silence
of the cats and dogs
silence
of the mind
a quiver
a moan
broadcasting restless sleep

too much air in my skull
a clouding of the spirit
mind spasms