there’s a great ball in my head
pushing every thought and emotion
to the edges
so i must travel these edges to get to those
microfiche memories
what makes it worse
the problem or solution
i forget which isn’t special
but what i remember of what I’ve forgot makes me panic
doctor’s appointments squeezed flat in this great wishing wheat field
like ants i crawl through the cracks in search of a jellybean memory turning slightly to find another distortion of thought.
fear pulls my neck taut
i strain at the bit in my mouth
unfocusing and turning
turn
scraping the bowl clean
til more cracks appear
more pictures flicker
more little birds sing
and the mowers come
AbyKittiwake 