On Forgetting

there’s a great ball in my head
pushing every thought and emotion
to the edges
so i must travel these edges to get to those
microfiche memories

what makes it worse
the problem or solution
i forget which isn’t special

but what i remember of what I’ve forgot makes me panic
doctor’s appointments squeezed flat in this great wishing wheat field
like ants i crawl through the cracks in search of a jellybean memory turning slightly to find another distortion of thought.
fear pulls my neck taut
i strain at the bit in my mouth
unfocusing and turning
turn
scraping the bowl clean
til more cracks appear
more pictures flicker
more little birds sing
and the mowers come

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