Advice to my children

1. Life is beautiful. Some people like to take hunks out of beautiful things.

2. Sometimes the beautiful people are the kind people. Sometimes the ugly people are the kind people. Learn to read the eyes.

3. Friendships will go through at least one rocky phase in life. Enforce boundaries, and most of all show compassion.

4. Someone will take advantage of you in life. Someone will hurt you. Heal first, then take action. That action might simply be carrying on.

5. Lean on your support system. Let them lean on you.

6. Be yourself is a way of saying to excuse your flaws. Do not excuse your flaws. Be better. Do so by improving one thing in one small way at least every day. You will gain so much from understanding this.

7. When homeless or cast out from friends, be the good in other people’s lives. This will earn you new friends and return old friends to you. Life will look brighter.

8. Don’t allow a man to creep a hand up your thigh in chicken, in writing, or by his mouth unless you want him too. If he does without your say so, then he/she is to blame. Shout it from the rooftops if necessary. Talk to a few -or more- trusted friends about how it’s making you feel. Save another woman’s life. And possibly another man’s life. Most importantly safe yours. Abusers thrive in silence.

9. You’ll never regret telling the truth with tact and kindness with an eye to improving a matter. Unless the other person does not want the truth, in which case talk in familiarities or in circles and call it a night. Or talk about the truth.

10. People will tell you there exists shades of truth and shades of lies. My darlings, if this is so, then I would have you reach for absolute truth.

11. Be kind to your parents’ friends. They’ve watched you grow up. They wonder how you are doing. They are cheering you on today and forever. If one of them pulls something on you, never trust them again. Tell your parents.

12. Don’t let spoiled milk turn you off from milk. There’s good people out there among the bad. People looking for people like you. Be the first to find them or accept them.

13. Not everybody’s out to get you, but it can feel that way when you protect something precious. Learn to trust and defend as you must.

14. Love God with all your might, mind, spirit, and heart. Start where you are. Start today. Again. Again. Always.

15. Don’t date men who lease cars and frequently trade them in for new models. Don’t involve yourself in men who have hobbies they obsessive over and then abandon. Unless they have ADHD, such men will never be pleased and will constantly switch love interests. Do not cast yourself in the role of new toy.

16. Go down the rabbit hole of interests. Be varied in your interests or settle on one if you’d like. But dive down into the meat of the thing before you decide you do not like it. Same for people- go down the rabbit hole with them before you decide you don’t like them. Never abandon a friend. Realize when a friend is a friend. This may take some time.

17. You will not heed all of my advice so read it often. Pin it to your bathroom wall. Clean your toilet.

18. There’s only one you. Offer the best version to yourself, to your family and to the world. Understand this does not imply perfection. But heartfelt trying for and reaching for goals to improve self

19. Serve others. You’ll find a way.

20. When I get old and older, just love me in the ways I’ve taught you. In the ways you know how. And remember no matter how forgetful I get, I’ll always love you forever for always and no matter what.

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