Diary

I’ve been having nightmares multi-ended cinema features and waking menaces of giant men calling my name and pulling me from a globe of shield bringing me to their teeth I’ve been have waking fears hearing my name when no one is home a simple call or question left hanging I’ve been walking half distracted by my children the weight which keeps me grounded their laughter and bickering and half basted in surreal fantasies aural displays of temper and direction an anxiety gone rogue and pulling me whole hog I used to fight with these voices from a very young age inner demons and angels screaming at me to do so do til I screamed back no no no so now they laugh at my decisions and mock my direction malevolent laughter and I ignore then for the most part they’re so loud lately walking waking nightmare I don’t know if the dream is real for several minutes I lean and reel unsettled doing everything I can to keep the chair sitting there losing bits of time I’d rather sleep where I know the dream is a dream until I wake and must decide if it separate or a proverb if I was eaten out will be eaten by who does it matter my thoughts sweetie to show me the way and I listen to the pictures displayed

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