The Wall

vaulted
sweet reverie beyond walls so high
i Pierce the heavens yet not the top of that precipice
halted
steps burnt in ant-like lines become a bonfire at its foot
jump!
i dare not mock Majesty with triviality
though climb through seven layers
I’d dip in fatigue
unprepared
this brick
this wood
this cemented monstrosity
aye, I am but man
and death a door i cannot leap
though burst my hands in pleasing strikes
and pleading
yet
so quick thy hand did pass through

fog to thy touch
cobbled rock
how this trick of mist
which i twist
solid
contends a ghost
you’ve ever been

Dinner

Tonight you’re weaker
shadows pool under your eyes
purple and blue
you never know how to whisper
always using your vocal cords
but tonight
you’re tired
sloping shoulders slipping over the table until your face nearly touches dinner
you’re whispering
truly whispering
about how hard things will be the next few months
salting your meal with tears

So What Do I Love Now?

When I was healthier, pre-illness, I trusted my body to do what I asked. I hiked my gear in and out with my trusty dog Mr.B. I worked out. I volunteered. I never accepted help- which drove my husband crazy. I was fit strong. Then whack. ME hit hard.

Next 5 years in bed. Couldn’t think straight, focus, get downstairs. Shortly, it was hell. I found the right med combination for me and the last year I’ve been slowly getting my life back. As in grocery shopping. As in spending time with friends. Little things I overlooked when I was running around conquering life. This is not what I look like today. 5 years in bed was rough on me. But I walked through hell for over 8 years and got my smile back. I see this picture which used to bring me despair- and now see hope. Hope for a life back in nature, back in the world, back on my feet hiking in my gear. But today is not this day. It may be again because exists the opportunity to grow– and for that I am eternally grateful. Right now I love what tomorrow will be, I love writing as always, I love second chances and I believe in all of them with all my heart.

On Aging

Deep water lines
Swallowed up the bridge lines
learning you like butter and sour cream on your potato
as the waters rise
the unimportant bits and bites
make me wealthy in knowledge of you
and it becomes sort of a wisdom
one i will weep at your gravesite
filling everywhere with you

Swing Dancing

Swing dancing Saturday nights
All rusted out of me
Your hands coarse and throwing me rough
Listening to you bawl in the car when I tried to break up
How you didn’t like my laugh
Called it unladylike
Then redressed me
And pouted when I wore the same outfit twice
Still you could throw a tall chick high
And catch her coming down
It was all the in-between
That ruined you and me

The Hunger

One more word from thee
Before the night is full
And I shall rest in writing prose
The teasing light dips ever lower
And to my bright spot I can’t help but glower
For it shrinks too as night fills black
A moon halving quartering gone slack
Ah, but new days bring happy song
Of all the birds in all the throng
But
One more word from thee…