Sun warms my cheek

Wind huffs through the open car windows

Curls leaves on the other side

Engines silent

We wait for our teenagers to crawl out of the building like ants

A cloud interrupts the sun’s gaze

Someone starts their engine

Misery invited

I attended her day and night

Until my mother reminded through phone call

Of all I’ve accomplished looking back

She told me to be uncertain is a good sign because it means you are seriously considering life’s next big step and that it includes scarier hills and mountains and dangers and promises

So I think the trick is to look forward to good things and back to good things too

And count the little elephants you’ve conquered and whatever animals crawl into your room

And never, ever, ever give up when giving up is what you want to do.

I haven’t showered in a week or more

Scared of being interrupted in the shower by the interrupter man

Who pulls back the curtain to check on me

If I still breathe

Then apologizes in kind tones

Only to do it again

A second second second later.

In the tub you can see him coming

And this is better

Because I don’t jump

And there are lots and lots of bubbles

To hide tender parts

he wouldn’t dare get his sleeves wet

And have to explain to his wife how they got that way

There’s a rhythm to madness

You just have to find the beat